Journal Entry #13

Revised Thesis: Testing for the ACTN3 gene is detrimental to children because it can be misused by parents. It will not lead to success in spots because children will be pressured to play sports they do not enjoy and ultimately quit.

Conclusion from paper: problem =wordiness

The genetic tests being promoted by the Atlas Sports Gene company is detrimental to children because they will be pigeonholed into a limited amount of sports and have increased pressure. For children, sports are supposed to be something they enjoy doing that is a fun way to keep them healthy. It is also based on a study with a limited sample population and many researchers believe that predicting future athletic talent is not just black and white. The test will not lead to success in sports because children will be worn down by playing sports they don't like at a competitive level and eventually quit. The test will be misused by parents who go overboard just wanting the best for their child.

Revised Conclusion:

Genetic Sport Testing being promoted by Atlas will ultimately lead to children being pigeon-holed into a limited amount of sports. The test is detrimental to youth in sports because of parent misuse. Although the test has intentions of increasing success in sports, it will actually do the opposite. Children might have more natural ability in the sports they participate in, but without enjoying the sport, they are more likely to quit in the future.

Journal Entry #12

Thesis statement: Testing for the ACTN3 gene is detrimental to children and will not lead to future success in sports.

Journal Entry #11

Many people may argue that inmates are not in the best health and so they should not be tested on. The majority of inmates on death row are older men. However, even elderly men have to same genetic make-up as women or children. Their body functions the same way as other humans and this would be much more accurate than animal testing. Also, men in prison are able to communicate the side effects of the tests. Humans, unlike animals, are able to tell researchers how they are feeling. Animals are not able to tell researchers that they are aching allover, or they have a stomach ache, which leaves the animal testing more inaccurate (Animal Drug Tests).

(Revised Version)

Some people believe that the health status of inmates is a problem. The majority of inmates on death row are older men who rarely get exercise. However, elderly men have the same genetic make-up as women and children. Their body functions the same way so lab tests would be more accurate. Inmates would also be able to communicate the side effects of the tests to the researcher. Unlike animals, they would be able to tell the researcher how they are feeling. Animals are not able to tell the researcher that their legs itch, or that their body aches all over. The health status of inmates is not a problem to testing cosmetic problems on inmates ("Animal Drug Tests" 2).

Journal Entry #10

In "A modest Proposal" Swift proposes that in order to help the starving people of Ireland, they should eat their own children. He says that the poor people should eat their children because they are being a burden to society. He structures his piece by setting up a scene to get the reader's attention. He shows a woman dressed in rags that has children following her down the street. He then gives his proposal that we should eat these poor children after they are one year old. After he states his solution, he gives his arguments as to why this would be effective to the country of Ireland. Before he concludes the piece, he states his 6 arguments or supporting evidence again and then give the piece closure. His supporting evidence is that these children are being a burden to society and therefore should be eaten. In turn, they would now help society. This would also prevent voluntary abortions and women killing their children because they can't be fed. This satire piece is effective because it sheds light on the situation that was going on in Ireland during this time which people seemed to be ignoring. It is also effective because it proposal is so absurd that the reader becomes very interested in the topic. He used words like boil and bake to describe cooking the children, which today we use only for animals. Swift uses a lot of reasoning in his proposal. In many cases he goes through in depth measures to explain why his solution is efficient. He uses math and research to prove his point by estimating the number of children born each year and when their would be an abundance of children. He even calculates how many pounds a child is when they have been fed for a year and how many families that it would be able to feed. The babies could also be used as gloves and boots for women. This satire is meant to mock the govt. because they were not doing anything to help the country of Ireland during this famine. I think this is different than the other pieces we have read so far because the proposal is so absurd. I like this piece because I was not bored when I was reading it and it served its purpose to shed light on the famine in Ireland.

Topic: Animal Testing

Why? i want to find out the negative aspects of it

In order to.. show my reader that there is a better solution to testing products on animals

1. How many animals are tested on each year?

2. How many animals are injured each year as a result to testing?

3. What is the cost to house and feed these animals?

4. How many companies use animal testing

5. What is the accuracy of animal testing?

Questions for solution

6. How long, on average are people on death row?

7.How much does it cost to keep people alive on death row?

8. Is there enough people to test these products on?

Journal Entry #9

http://dailyitem.com/0100_news/x1498156952/Keller-Let-s-shrink-House

This is an article that I found in my home-town newspaper. The speaker of the State House is looking for sponsors that would be in favor of his proposal of cutting back the size of PAs legislature. Many people had different views on the bill. In my opinion, I don't think they should cut back the number of PA representatives so severely. The proposal is to cut back 50 people, which is a large number. This would cause many people to lose their jobs. Also, Pennsylvania is a very diverse state. We have people to represent from very different backgrounds. It is good that we have so many representatives because I am sure people from my small community have different opinions than people from Philly or Pittsburgh.

http://www.standard-journal.com/articles/2011/03/19/news/doc4d82067439032918424489.txt

This article is about the debate over higher education. Tim Corbett suggested that the money be lent to students in the form of grants instead of subsidies. It is the biggest cut of higher education than any governor has proposed this year. I have two different opinions on this article. I know that because of our economic situation money has to be cut from somewhere so cutting it from higher education is seemingly a good proposal. However we need people to go to college so that they can have jobs in the future. With these cuts to education some people will be forced to not go to a regular 4 year college and our economy will suffer in the future. Secondly, schools need subsidies and their institutions benefit the public by research money.

http://www.usnews.com/science/articles/2010/01/14/technology-aims-to-replace-animal-testing

This article is about how Hurel Corp. developed technology that would switch from animal testing to testing done with stem cells of the human body. They did this research with the help of funding from the L'Oreal cosmetic company. The tests done show that this will hopefully be in place next year, but rigorous tests have not been completed yet. This is obviously a controversial topic because stem cell research is a controversial topic. In my opinion, I would rather see testing done on the stem cells than to animals because the animals are already living. Also, in the future it will probably be more accurate to test on human stem cells than animal cells because we do not have to same genome as animals such as mice or guinea pigs. This product would also cut the cost of developing a new drug by 1 million dollars!

journal Entry #8

The two bottles serve a similar purpose but are unique in their shape and grip. The Snapple bottle is firm and rigid. Its structure is a rounded shape with no sharp edges. There is no structure built into the bottle for you to grip it. On the other hand, the plastic bottle gives when you squeeze it. It can make you feel powerful holding something so easily deformed in your hand. The color has a pale blue tint, created this way so that the water inside looks more appetizing than regular water. The structure has a unique shape and has a place to make it fit seemingly perfect in your hands. The Snapple bottle has a unique design on the top but otherwise has no ridges. However, the plastic water bottle is full of ridges creating a fun and unique design on the bottle. Both bottles can be detrimental to our planet without the correct recycling. The Snapple bottle is more pleasing to the eye with its creative design and calm, refreshing color. The water bottle is plain and simple without a logo to specify which brand of water that it is. It could be any of the various brands but I think that this shape indicates that it is Aquafina. The shape of the bottle is unique to that brand.

Journal Entry #7

I am evaluating the novel Play Dead by Harlan Coben, who is a New York Times best selling author. This novel merits evaluation because Harlan Coben is a popular author. His books are my favorite and Play Dead is his first book that he recently released but wrote at the age of 20. Play Dead is a mystery novel which is functional because you can read a book. The novel is a lot like other mystery novels with suspense and action. However, I chose to write about this novel because Coben just released the book. He decided not to change anything in it because he is proud of his first book. The book is about a pro-basketball killer who gets killed while walking on the beach during his honeymoon. Laura, his wife, refuses to give up until the mystery of her husbands death is solved.To evaluate the novel I will need to establish the value of the book and why I chose to evaluate it. I will introduce the novel as the first book written by Harlan Coben and suggest that it needs to be evaluated because he is known for his mystery novels. Again, the category of the object is a mystery novel. To evaluate the novel I will first evaluate based on the criteria of the character development. Developing characters in a mystery novel is important because it is hard to follow the plot of a mystery novel if the characters are not easily remembered. I think Coben does a good job of this in his novel. Laura, a female supermodel is very well developed in the story. She, along with her husband David are the main couple in the story so it is important to know a lot about them. Personally, I believe a mystery novel should be suspenseful. I will also evaluate the novel based on the criteria of being suspenseful. In this aspect, the novel does a good job in bringing you in and keeping you hooked. Thirdly, I will evaluate the book based on the criteria of a successful climax. A defining moment needs to be present in every mystery novel. I haven't gotten to the climax in Play Dead, because I am still currently reading it, so I can't evaluate that part until I have completed the novel. Another criteria that the novel can be evaluated on is the resolution. Again, I can't evaluate the book's resolution until I have finished it but I think every mystery novel should have somewhat of a closure unless there is going to be a second novel. Readers are not satisfied with a novel if it leaves them confused and seems unfinished so evaluating the resolution is a big part of evaluating a novel. Lastly, the opinions of the reader are obviously important in evaluating novels so I could evaluate the book based on the reviews it received. A book can not be considered successful unless it is popular among readers so evaluating the reviews of the novel is important.

Journal Entry #6

1. The scene = student bookstore

Students quicken their pace as they get close to the door. The sign above them read Penn State Student Bookstore. Before they look around the store, three students hand over their backpacks to the employee who stows them away in the cubbies behind her. The tiles on the floor displayed a blue and white pattern, which matches the theme of the entire store. Everywhere you looked the shelves and racks are full of clothes, blankets, stuffed animals, and even shot glasses bearing he Penn State label. People of all ages are browsing through the clothes section. The sweatpants and sweatshirts seem to be the most popular during this time of the year. The bell on the door constantly rings as people enter and exit the store. Most people who enter buy at least one item. For the short time I was there everyone who bought an item of clothing paid with either a debit or credit card and quickly went on with their day. Even just outside the door you can see people strolling by sporting clothes or hats with the Penn State logo. Our school has a lot of school spirit. After all "We Are" Penn State, but do students really know how much sweat really goes into making those clothes?

2. Four Facts

-Gunawardana, a woman, had a personal experience in the factories and said that the workers were motivated to change the situation that they are in.

-Workers didn't eat properly because the work hours were too strenuous in the factories. Sometimes there was barely enough time to be able to use the restrooms

http://www.collegian.psu.edu/archive/2008/04/10/professors_describe_sweatshop.aspx

-Penn State delayed joining the DSP in part because they believed it was a violation of federal antitrust laws

-The USAS accused the manufacturing facility of New Era Cap Company of gender and racial discrimination

http://live.psu.edu/story/28955

3. Two new ideas

- I want to look into how the students tried to gain publicity that angered Graham Spaniard letter to the students. He said in the letter that the he was disappointed in the students way of gaining publicity and it was disrespectful. I think it would be interesting to know what they did.

- I also want to get Graham Spaniards opinion the the whole thing. This might be difficult to do but it would be very interesting to get his opinion on things because the rest of my piece would be in the opinion of the members of the USAS club.

4. The interview

Maura Ryan is a 5th year senior here at Penn State. She is 22 years old and played soccer at the university for 4 years.

Q: How do you feel that Penn State clothes' are made from sweatshops?

A: "I had no idea. I am surprised to hear that, it makes me feel more like now I am going to be more conscious when I want to buy something."

Q: Do you think this will hinder students from buying Penn State clothes?

A: "Yes, I think students would care about this issue and buy less clothes because our students like to be proactive."

Q: Have you heard about the USAS Club?

A: "No, they should speak out about their cause more and become more public."

Journal Entry #5

Part 1 -What makes it a Profile?

1. The writer explains Frank as a very interesting person. She uses many show that you don't know what to expect regarding his mood and outbursts. One one hand he is a polite man that would do anything for one of his friends. However, on the other hand he could quite possibly get into a fight with someone because he didn't like his boots. This creates an interesting person because it keeps you on your toes.

2. Regarding his work, the writer shows that Frank is very hard on himself and takes his job (as a singer) very seriously. For example when he sang for the TV program he had a cold and was so displeased with his performance that he left the studio. The piece also shows how dedicated Frank was because his mother tried her best not to let him become a singer, but he did against her wishes.

3. The writer uses scenes and descriptions to help readers understand what motivates Frank in his professional life. It is obvious that his career is very important to him. When his is at the bar you can tell that he is in some sort of depression just because he has a cold and can't use his prized possession, his voice. The bar scene in the beginning of the piece is a great way to describe Frank. I picture him sitting in a dark corner, sulking and refraining from talking to anyone.

4. The writer uses many personal observations of Sinatra in the piece. The bar scene is a personal observation as well as when he watched him in the studio making his program. He uses quotes from Sinatra's friends and family especially those from his mother and daughter Nancy, that describe him. He didn't seem to interview Sinatra himself in the piece, but with all of his sources and observations of the man he drew concrete details about him.

5. Personally I think the writer lets you make your own opinion about Sinatra. In the beginning I got the feeling that he displayed Sinatra in a negative way. However through the article I got the sense that Sinatra had so much pressure to be a great singer that no wonder a small cold could bring him into a depression. He is a very popular man that lives in the spotlight. It would get frustrating to please all of his fans and friends all of the time. I got the feeling from the piece that he really is just a regular guy.

Part 2 - The Interview Reaction

Gay Talese's piece on Frank Sinatra was a great article. It was an example of a good profile and in the question and answer with Talese he gave some great tips on writing a profile that will be of great help when I am writing my investigative report. Talese made a point to say that you have to gain your subjects trust before you can interview them. It takes time and you have to go cautiously. He learned his style of interviewing from his mom who worked a dress shop. To interview someone you have to gain their trust and ask polite questions. Creating a profile takes time and patience. Talese spent 5 years with a man from the Mafia that he did a profile on just to get to know him and gain his trust. I thought it was interesting that he liked to write about people who were not in the news and not famous. He said that when writing about famous people, you only get publicity because the person you are writing about is already in the news. The people that Talese does profiles on, he still sees today. Because he gets a lot of information in one day of observing his subject, he writes everything he remembered from that day and dates it. Then, when he is done he goes back to all of his dated observations and creates a summary out of it. He then finds important scenes and basically maps out is piece of work. The question and answer with Gay Talese should be very helpful with my interviews. Our piece will be nonfiction just like his piece of Frank Sinatra. He said that an important piece of nonfiction writing is to be able to get inside the head of your subject. You have to get to know them and indulge in your curiosity. This Q and A showed me that doing a profile on someone will take a lot of work. It is important to have patience with your subjects and to gain their trust so that they tell you what you want to know.

Journal Entry #4

The number one party school radio article was an interesting investigative report. It was informative with facts about Penn State and drinking but it was also interesting to hear all of the perspectives heard in the hour long piece. Regarding the questions in harbrace, the writer defines the issue in a way that does make sense to the audience. The audience is fully aware of what is happening throughout the piece because there are interviews and good descriptions of the various events on campus. The reason why the issue needs to be investigated is because drinking is a major part of the culture at Penn State. It said in the article that half of the students here at Penn State regularly binge drink. Alcohol can lead to injury or death in the case of one student, and it was also proven that the residents in State College can get fed up with our crazy actions when we are drunk. It is evident in the article that the issue affects different groups of people in different ways. Residents of State College don't like when students are loud and sloppy when they are drunk. I didn't believe that a student was in a woman's house sleeping in her daughters bed. We can be reckless and cause harm to ourselves and others while intoxicated. However, the issue affects the businesses here at Penn State in a positive way. For example to owner of the popular store here called McClans. had to buy another building because of the business from Penn State students. The interviewer quotes a variety of people. College students are quoted as well as older residents at Penn State. Alumni and business owners are also represented in the article. The piece covered a variety of people, but coaches of the teams here at Penn State did not have their perspectives represented. I think the writer wanted the conclusion to be that drinking at Penn State is part of our lifestyle. It has negatives aspects but it also has some positives too. It doesn't seem to be changing in the near future either. Personally, I like the article because it was interesting and not boring to listen to. They did a good job interviewing a variety of different people to get a lot of different points of view on the subject. I think interviewing college students worked because it gave the students a chance to give their perspective on the issue. However I thought they interviewed too many drunk students. Although it was funny hearing students talk when they were drinking, I sometimes thought that it made the piece look bad and repetitive. I would have liked to hear more students being interviewed when they weren't drinking to see if their point of view is different than when they are drinking. I also like the prologue of the two people just watching what happens on a typical weekend night here because it set up the article nicely and got you interested in what they were going to say in the rest of the article

The chapter in Lamott's book about first drafts was very informational. I could relate the piece to my own writing because for me, starting out the first draft is the hardest part of the entire essay. Sometimes I feel like I sit at my computer for hours just trying to find the prefect first sentence or attention grabber. The chapter made me realize that I was stressing about all the wrong parts of a rough draft. The rough draft should be easier and not so structured. It shouldn't matter if I use the wrong word or don't get my attention grabber just right at first. It was comforting to know that even the best authors have trouble writing their first drafts and that they don't just spew out pages of their novels like a fountain. (which it seems like in with their finished products). In the piece Lamott said that she trusted this technique more or less when writing her first drafts. I think this is because it is hard for anyone to write something without any restraints or real order. She explains that you can't have any filter when writing your first draft and just focus on putting anything down on the paper. I don't believe this is personal just to her because it would be hard for anyone to write without thinking about their finished product in mind. The chapter of her book illuminated that writing a rough draft should be a lot easier than I make it. When I am writing my first draft I try to make it perfect so that writing my final copy will be a lot easier. By reading this chapter, I realized that I could be missing out on a lot of great ideas just because I am worrying about the conventions and organization of my essay. Now, I will approach my rough draft differently. Instead of sitting at my desk and pulling my hair out to find the perfect word or sentence structure, I will just try to put my ideas on paper so that I can work with what I have later. The piece is important because I think many people go about writing their first draft just like I do. They are worried about making their rough draft sound exactly like their final draft, when really they should be worried about getting all of the ideas in their head down on paper. In the chapter, Lamott said that the fist draft was the down draft, meaning just writing your ideas down. The second draft was the up draft, or the draft that you clean up and fix. Finally, the third draft should be more like your final copy or finished product. The chapter was really helpful to read before I start writing my first draft so that I can practice this new way of writing. I hope that it helps writing my first draft of the memoir.

Journal Entry #2

I read the "Tour of Duty" personal memoir. Thank you for sharing your personal memoir, it was very interesting to read. Both this personal memoir and the one in the harbrace helped me to understand what exactly a personal memoir is. The memoir used many elements that were introduced in our reading. For example, there was dialogue used sparingly in the memoir. It was used to describe the club scene when all the people were yelling for the band. It helped the audience become part of the story because it helped visualize the club in my mind. I also like when it was used in the argument between yourself and the EX- Models. You paused in the story to reflect on your feelings during the tour. You also paused to show how you became part of the tour after the hook of the first paragraph. Many descriptions were used throughout the memoir to pull the audience in. I think the club scene in the beginning to the memoir was very detailed. I could envision exactly what the club sounded and smelt like. The memoir also jumped from scene to scene so that it wasn't a continuation of events. For example, in the beginning the scene jumped from being at the club in Manchestor to you being back at home on your couch in Akron. The subject of the memoir was the tour of your boyfriends band that you decided to be a part of. It was relevant because that was an important part of your life. The intended audience could have been girls in their teens. It could be written for them because I think their was a lesson of the memoir saying that sometimes you have to make your own decisions even if that means being separated from someone you love. Ethos were used because by saying that you were dating a band member. This proved that you had credibility to write the memoir about the band's tour. The pathos used in the story made you feel bad for both you and your boyfriend because of the draining effects of the tour. I think one of the most prominent uses of pathos was when you described the physical appearance of your boyfriend while you were eating at subway. He seemed so tired and exhausted from the tour.

Journal Entry #1

Writing has never been an enjoyable task for me because it has always been challenging. I always have trouble starting my essays and getting my point across of what I am trying to say. This makes it frustrating to start writing. That being said, I usually am able to get good grades on a writing assignment if it is for school, and after I organize my ideas or make and outline my writing usually starts to flow. I know writing is important in school and outside of school because it is a way to express yourself and make a statement. I find writing easier if I am writing for fun rather than for a school assignment because in school assignments you have to pressure of your work being graded. The strengths of my writing are my organization and my focus. The organization of my writing usually helps the audience understand rather than hinder them from understanding. I also rarely stray from the prompt and my writing stays to the point. I also have weaknesses to my writing. Grammar and conventions always seem to be one of my weakest points when I am writing. Proofreading more thoroughly and examining my grammar more closely should help with my conventions. I also have a very safe style of writing. My sentence structure tends to be the same and I don't use a variety of vocabulary. I am bad at transitioning from point to point and my work tends to sound choppy. I am hoping that English 15 will help my style or writing. It should help me use better transitions so my writing flows and has better style.

Mystery books inspire me to write because they are so compelling and keep you enhanced in the storyline. James Patterson is my favorite author because he has written so many books and all of them are fascinating to read. He inspires me to become a writer that can keep the attention of an audience. He impresses me because all of his many books are different and he never seems to run out of ideas. One of my favorite books of his is Kiss the Girls, but I love almost all of his novels. Poems and song lyrics inspire me because they make a point with such a small amount of words. Lyrics to songs inspire me to write because they are written by the singer from the heart. Rascal Flatts is one of my favorite bands because their lyrics always come from the heart. My favorite song of their's is God Bless The Broken Road. The lyrics inspire me to become a better writer and rhetor because they produce such a strong message. Lyrics of a song can convey such a universal message for people with different backgrounds and they inspire me to become a better writer because they show how powerful words can be.