Journal Entry #13

Revised Thesis: Testing for the ACTN3 gene is detrimental to children because it can be misused by parents. It will not lead to success in spots because children will be pressured to play sports they do not enjoy and ultimately quit.

Conclusion from paper: problem =wordiness

The genetic tests being promoted by the Atlas Sports Gene company is detrimental to children because they will be pigeonholed into a limited amount of sports and have increased pressure. For children, sports are supposed to be something they enjoy doing that is a fun way to keep them healthy. It is also based on a study with a limited sample population and many researchers believe that predicting future athletic talent is not just black and white. The test will not lead to success in sports because children will be worn down by playing sports they don't like at a competitive level and eventually quit. The test will be misused by parents who go overboard just wanting the best for their child.

Revised Conclusion:

Genetic Sport Testing being promoted by Atlas will ultimately lead to children being pigeon-holed into a limited amount of sports. The test is detrimental to youth in sports because of parent misuse. Although the test has intentions of increasing success in sports, it will actually do the opposite. Children might have more natural ability in the sports they participate in, but without enjoying the sport, they are more likely to quit in the future.

Journal Entry #12

Thesis statement: Testing for the ACTN3 gene is detrimental to children and will not lead to future success in sports.

Journal Entry #11

Many people may argue that inmates are not in the best health and so they should not be tested on. The majority of inmates on death row are older men. However, even elderly men have to same genetic make-up as women or children. Their body functions the same way as other humans and this would be much more accurate than animal testing. Also, men in prison are able to communicate the side effects of the tests. Humans, unlike animals, are able to tell researchers how they are feeling. Animals are not able to tell researchers that they are aching allover, or they have a stomach ache, which leaves the animal testing more inaccurate (Animal Drug Tests).

(Revised Version)

Some people believe that the health status of inmates is a problem. The majority of inmates on death row are older men who rarely get exercise. However, elderly men have the same genetic make-up as women and children. Their body functions the same way so lab tests would be more accurate. Inmates would also be able to communicate the side effects of the tests to the researcher. Unlike animals, they would be able to tell the researcher how they are feeling. Animals are not able to tell the researcher that their legs itch, or that their body aches all over. The health status of inmates is not a problem to testing cosmetic problems on inmates ("Animal Drug Tests" 2).